7 Funny Money Quotes and Why They’re True

Do you know why jokes can be so funny? They often point out the little (and sometimes big) things in life that we typically overlook or don’t stop to think about. When you step back and look at it from a 5,000-foot view, you can see the truth of a situation —and this truth can be funny.

The same thing applies to money.

Money can be a hilarious topic. There’s so much we don’t see, yet we interact with it each day. Confused? Take a look at these 7 funny money quotes and you’ll find out exactly why money can be funny—and true, when you think about it.

“Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.” —​ Groucho Marx

Who doesn’t hate cleaning, running errands, mowing the lawn, and all the little time-wasters that collectively suck away a huge chunk of your life? It’s a bit like The Machine from The Princess Bride, don’t you think? To get around this, we suggest investing in time-saving products and services.

In fact, recent research has shown that spending your money on things that help you save time is a sure-fire way to buy happiness.

“Rich people have small TVs and big libraries, and poor people have small libraries and big TVs.” — Zig Ziglar

According to research by Thomas Corley of Rich Habits, 86% of wealthy people love to read, while 74% of poorer people “do not love to read.” In fact, wealthy people prefer to spend time reading a wide range of educational material – from history to self-help to influential biographies – instead of sitting in front of the boob tube each night. Educating themselves by reading helps these folks make wise financial decisions, which can lead to wealth.

“October: This is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.” — Mark Twain

On the surface, picking stocks sounds like fun. A little bit of Tesla here, a dash of Disney there, and a pinch of Apple for good measure. But, a wide range of research shows that for the vast majority of people, stock picking is a sure way to underperform the market and earn less. A better way? You can try investing in index funds, which are cheaper and don’t engage in all of the risky business surrounding stock-picking. You can easily start investing in index funds with pocket change using apps like Acorns, Stash Invest, or M1 Finance. Of course, we always suggest talking with a fee-only financial advisor before making any big decisions with your money.

“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” — Bob Hope

While this quote sounds sarcastic at first glance, there is a nugget of truth in here. Banks are strict with lending money because they want to make sure they get their money back from you, plus interest. Therefore, you could say that you don’t really need the money, since you’ll make enough over time to cover the cost of what you want to buy, plus some. But, of course, for big-ticket items like cars and homes, we want the money now, not when we’re too old or otherwise unable to use some of these things.

“The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.” — Albert Einstein

Of course, Albert Einstein said this well before the current tax confusion going on in the United States today. Even before all of these sweeping tax changes, many Americans didn’t understand how taxes work. One of the best ways to educate yourself about taxes is to read a book or check out financial education websites, such as How Stuff Works’ guide to taxes. You can even find tax information on the IRS website (most of the information is surprisingly readable, believe it or not!)

“The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your back pocket.” — Will Rogers

The world is full of get-rich-quick schemes. Sell these leg tights! Invest in this pyramid scheme! Become a coach and pester your friends to buy shakes! Send money to this Nigerian prince!

Instead, try some real tried-and-true ways to make more money, such as investing in a retirement account, starting a side hustle, freelancing, or even taking on a part-time job. Indeed, the only good way to really double your money is to invest a lot of old fashioned blood, sweat, and tears.

“Too many people spend money they earned to buy things they don’t want, to impress people that they don’t like.” – Will Rogers

Be honest. Do you really like spending tons of time each day buying and fussing around with makeup and clothes? You may have been enthralled with that shiny new car when you first bought it, but now, two years and a monthly $483 car payment later, the allure might have worn off a bit. Can you relate?

Keeping up with the Joneses is a real thing, and here’s a secret: the Joneses are secretly broke. Instead, here’s a better idea: consider what you like and are comfortable spending money on—to heck with what other people think, especially if it’ll put you in debt.

Remember to laugh

Hopefully these 7 funny money quotes have given you a chuckle. But remember: hidden within these comical quotes are real life lessons. And, you can use these lessons to make positive changes in your money sitch. Are you ready to laugh all the way to the bank?